Pretty Little Woman: A Short Encounter with a Tiny Hooker

Little people need love, too.

I’m sure the headline caught y’all attention. Ha! This is a true story. But before I continue, I wanna state that I don’t mean to offend anyone by using politically incorrect terms. If I do, please correct me pronto and I’ll change it asap. After all, this is storytelling and I just want to entertain y’all with my words and puntastic writing. Also, this slice is somewhat explicit, so be forewarned.

This means you Mom, aunties, potential employers and prudish people. Lol

During the wee hours of 1.24.16 on Polk Street in SF, all was merry. We ended the fun, indulgent night celebrating my cuzo Angelo’s 21st birthday with Bob’s Donuts (a must after Polk Street festivities) and late-night pizza.

I walked uphill on Larkin Street back to my car, with a smile on my face, thankful for a dope night. Many yards away, I see what I thought was a little girl walking towards me. Without glasses or contact lenses and my eye condition, keratoconus (I’ll write about this soon), I’m pretty blind. As she got closer, I realized that this little girl was actually a little person.

Because I was having a good night, I said, “Good evening.” But regardless, I usually smile or nod when strangers pass by. This tiny lady wearing white pants, a leather jacket and had her hair partly tied up stopped in her tracks. I’m 5’10” and she was about as tall as my belly. To be honest, she wasn’t bad looking…or I could’ve still been tipsy. Haha. Either way, let’s call her Lillian or Lil for short. Ha!

I thought she was gonna ask for directions as people occasionally do. Instead, Lil asked, “Would you like some company?” That threw me off, causing me to tilt my head slightly like a curious dog. I quickly replied, “What do you mean?” Here’s the explicit part of the story. Click elsewhere or continue reading.

“Do you want to f***?,” Lil said in a straightforward manner. I was quite surprised and amused by her blunt question.

“I’m going home,” I said, instead of straight up declining her.

“We can f*** in your car? Or I can give you head?” she inquired in a confident tone, awaiting my response.

Lil’s boldness made me chuckle a tiny bit. Being in sales, I admired her aggressive approach, yet assertive attitude.

“I don’t have any cash,” I said, stretching the truth. For the record, I would never pay for sex. But most, if not all, people go on dates and pay for dinner, movies, gifts, activities hoping for the same result or something in return. However, I digress.

“We can go to the ATM,” Lil said with a flirty smile. Such persistence for someone with a small stature.

“Y’know what?” I replied, running out of excuses. “You have a good night.”

“Okaaaay,” Lil said, in a predictable disappointed tone. She then walked away. I stood there, turned around and said…nothing. Haha

It’s not only because Lil was a little person, but her persistence was something worth mentioning. Never have I been approached by a prostitute. It’s even more of a trip when she was under four feet. Talk about a small world.

In hindsight, I could’ve had a lil fun and crossed it off my bucket list, er, f***-it list. LOLOL. Just kidding!

Lemme leave y’all with a debatable question: Is it prostitution when you pay a hooker to leave after sex, instead of paying for sex? Lol

Tags: Bob's Donuts, hooker, little person, Polk Street, prostitute, San Francisco